14 Signs that You’re a “Twinkie”

Ever been called a “twinkie”? “Banana”? A “white-washed” Asian? These names connote that an Asian individual is “yellow on the outside, white on the inside,” having lost touch with his or her “original culture”. Asian-Americans who achieve a high degree of assimilation into dominant culture may identify with the labels; however, used derogatorily, the monikers misunderstand the complexity immigrants undertake to negotiate between identities: creating a new life in a foreign land inevitably entails a cultural tug-of-war, with casualties on both sides. Further, the assimilation experience varies across ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and economic status.

This list doesn’t define you, but it offers some markers of your degree of assimilation. Politically correct enough for you?

1. Your high school friends were all white.

The only Asian person to ever walk the halls of Bayside – going, going, gone…

2. You speak your ethnic language at an elementary-school level, or less. You can’t read the characters, but you know your food names.

And sometimes you only know one, not even in your own dialect

3. You weren’t spanked as a child. (While disciplining children physically is controversial in the West, it’s traditional in many Asian countries.)

Second place is the first loser!

4. You prefer using forks to chopsticks.

It’s really simple…

5. Your mother’s a bad cook.

Awkward

6. You play the drums or the guitar, not the violin or the piano.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing

7. You’re uncomfortable talking about your Asian-American identity, preferring your “colorblind” perspective.

8. Tiger Balm isn’t your immediate solution for mosquito bites.

9. You say that you only date white girls/guys.

We’ve covered some of that here and here

10. Your parents just encouraged you to “do your best” in school without regard to your grades.

While others might be more familiar with the “Asian dad” meme

11. You’ve watched two, maybe three animes, in total, including Pokemon or Sailor Moon.

Well, Pikachu is yellow… on the outside…

12. You’ve never gone to karaoke.

Once again, that’s not necessarily a bad thing

13. You have a low tolerance for spicy foods. You go light on the wasabi, tteokbokki, and Szechuan anything.

Yikes! Feel the burn!

14. You’re adopted.

Ah, well